tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35687069850064399972023-06-20T21:26:49.794-07:00Foxy Wine News Networkthe only source of wine information from the Internet that you will ever need!!!!Dean Tudorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09027150351344396656noreply@blogger.comBlogger39125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568706985006439997.post-4233040938490661112013-03-31T21:25:00.001-07:002013-03-31T21:25:03.205-07:00Mayor Rob Ford aka Schadenford Resigns for Government Position<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN"> <HTML xmlns:st1 = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" xmlns:o = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office"><HEAD> <META content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1" http-equiv=Content-Type> <META name=GENERATOR content="MSHTML 9.00.8112.16470"> <STYLE></STYLE> </HEAD> <BODY bgColor=#ffffff> <DIV> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">TRAWNA (GOSH News Services) The Canadian Foxy Wine News Network North has just learned that Mayor Rob Ford (also known as Schadenford) is poised to make a dramatic announcement by <st1:time Minute="0" Hour="12">noon</st1:time> today. Taking advantage of the sleepy Easter Monday non-commute, Mayor Ford had hoped that this one would slip by the media. Indeed, according to our best sources, it appears as if Mayor Ford's announcement will only be made by his brother, Councillor Doug Ford, acting in his place, and thus Schadenford will not be available for comments.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">Top investigative wine reporter Brett Grimsby has been following this story for some time now, and he files his report based on several interviews with Miffed Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific timeline is not really known. Sources should not be held responsible for the speculative and/or playful treatment of their research and/or disclosures.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">Apparently, Mayor Schadenford has been ousted from office. He had been told to resign by an unnamed team of several thousand well-placed Torontonians. He agreed so long as he could become the new CEO of the</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">Liberal Control of Beverages in <st1:State><st1:place>Ontario</st1:place></st1:State>, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of A Have-Not Province Controlled by Win-Win Wynne. That was the price of his removal. Indeed, according to our well-known "anonymous sources", he has already left the building, that is, City Hall.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">Ford's immediate plans certainly involve creating new wines, beers and spirits featuring the well-known "Gravy Train" © TM label. These will roll out over the next few months, heavily pushed by a bevy of former gravy train recipients. Word has also come down, from our more reliable "confidential sources" that he is about to crack open the Oooopsie union. Work will be further contracted out even more than now, but at first only in <st1:place>Western Ontario</st1:place> west of <st1:Street><st1:address>Yonge Street</st1:address></st1:Street>. </FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">The LCBO buildings at <st1:place>Queens</st1:place>' Quay will be sold for subway barns and parking lots. The Liquor Transfer Tax will be dropped, allowing for a savings to the taxpayer of eight cents on every bottle of alcohol sold in <st1:State><st1:place>Ontario</st1:place></st1:State>. According to our confidential sources, Schadenford is also looking forward to his own, private rehab room just off from his new offices.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">Stay tuned for our special "What the LCBO will be like under Rob Ford" premiering later tonight on this channel
</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P></DIV><FONT face=Tahoma> <DIV>Chimo! <A href="http://www.deantudor.com">www.deantudor.com</A></DIV> <DIV></FONT> </DIV></BODY></HTML> Dean Tudorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09027150351344396656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568706985006439997.post-1382204837257004762012-04-25T18:17:00.001-07:002012-04-25T18:17:14.977-07:00LCBO to change its name, direction, and consumer data...<DIV> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – Foxy Wine News Network, enjoyed by just under 4,000 viewers every night, is proud to present a new investigative journalism show: The LCBO Today…Premiering Fridays at 9PM. Here's a sneak look at out first story …</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">In a move designed to regain control of its place in the <st1:State><st1:place>Ontario</st1:place></st1:State> government system, The Grate McGinty has decided to rebrand the LCBO. Formerly known as the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of A Have-Not Province Controlled by The Grate Minority McGinty, it will now be known as the Losing Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of A Have-Not Province Loosely Controlled by The Grate Minority McGinty.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">Why the subtle change? Said a spokesperson, "It was time for a change. We got tired of being hammered all the time by the Foxy Wine News Network, and decided to re-brand in order to get out from under their sharp eyes."</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">McGinty has hinted that other changes were afoot. The Crown Corp has quietly changed its Sugar Codes, in effect for well over 50 years, to be more urbane so consumers will not have to dodge the question of whether they like their wines sweet or dry. Said one consumer, "I usually like my red wines with upfront jammy fruit, and I got tired of seeing a Sugar Code of 2 or more. Now, it is just labelled "Dry" because there is enough finishing acid to compensate."</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">The Losing Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of A Have-Not Province Loosely Controlled by The Grate Minority McGinty appears to have gone even further: the alcoholic content of wines on its website catalogue disappeared overnight, causing great concern among consumers used to bragging about drinking high alcohol non-Amarone wines at the 15 to 16 per cent level. </FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">Said one consumer, "It's a macho thing: not only do I drink it, I tell other consumers in a game of one-up-man-ship, I was there first. I did it, I drank it."</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">Is the LCBO indeed "losing control"? Stay tuned for the four part series, beginning <st1:date Year="2012" Day="27" Month="4">Friday, April 27, 2012</st1:date> at 9 PM <st1:stockticker>DST</st1:stockticker>, on the Foxy Wine News Network….</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P></DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"> <DIV><BR>Chimo! <A href="http://www.deantudor.com">www.deantudor.com</A> AND <A href="http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com">http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com</A></DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Dean Tudor, Ryerson University Journalism Professor Emeritus<BR>Treasurer, Wine Writers' Circle of Canada<BR>Look it up and you'll remember it; screw it up and you'll never forget it.<BR>Creator of Canada's award-winning wine satire site at <A href="http://fauxvoixvincuisine.blogspot.com">http://fauxvoixvincuisine.blogspot.com</A></FONT></DIV><BR><BR>--<BR>Posted By Dean Tudor to <A href="http://fauxvoixvincuisine.blogspot.com/2012/04/lcbo-to-change-its-name-direction-and.html">FauxVoix VinCuisine</A> at 4/25/2012 08:38:00 PM Dean Tudorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09027150351344396656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568706985006439997.post-68579151535246023552012-04-10T07:09:00.001-07:002012-04-10T07:09:50.234-07:00LCBO to rebrand as ABCO, announcement forthcoming later today<DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"><FONT face="Courier New">TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – The Foxy Wine News Network, enjoyed by just under 4,000 daily TV viewers, has just learned of momentous changes coming to the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of A Have-Not Province Controlled by The Grate Minority McGinty.</FONT></DIV> <DIV> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">Apparently, in a brave attempt to reinvent itself, the LCBO will be assuming new branding and new revenue opportunities. A press conference has been called for later today, after the Eastern markets close, at about <st1:time Hour="17" Minute="30">5:30 PM</st1:time> <st1:stockticker>DST</st1:stockticker>.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">Top investigative wine reporter Brett Grimsby has been following this story for days now, and he files his report based on several interviews with Miffed Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific timeline is not really known. Sources should not be held responsible for the speculative and/or playful treatment of their research and/or disclosures.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">What our sources suggest is this:</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">First, the LCBO property at Queens Quay and <st1:place><st1:PlaceType>Lake</st1:PlaceType> <st1:PlaceType>Shore</st1:PlaceType></st1:place> will not be available for sale. It will remain with <st1:State><st1:place>Ontario</st1:place></st1:State>, A Have–Not Province Controlled by The Grate Minority McGinty. </FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">Second, the property will be re-configured as a combination store. Leading the way with dramatic changes are Daniel Libeskind (think ROM) and Jack Diamond (think Four Seasons Centre). Yes, there will be a <st1:City><st1:place>Crystal</st1:place></st1:City>, and "maybe" it will be a "Diamond Crystal".</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">Third, the LCBO will be renamed to closer reflect the intent of the new operating agency: ABCO -- Alcohol, Brothel, and Casino <st1:State><st1:place>Ontario</st1:place></st1:State>. </FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">The <st1:State><st1:place>Ontario</st1:place></st1:State>, A Have-Not Province, announcement will concern the re-adjustment. The ABCO will be responsible for developing alcohol sales, brothel operations, and casino gambling in <st1:State><st1:place>Ontario</st1:place></st1:State>, beginning with the <st1:place><st1:PlaceName>Jumbo</st1:PlaceName> <st1:PlaceType>Palace</st1:PlaceType></st1:place> at Queens Quay. The Brothel will be constructed as a see-through <st1:City><st1:place>Crystal</st1:place></st1:City> so that everyone can look at what is happening through its transparency; the Diamond facility will concern the Casino's gambling activities; and the Alcohol sales will remain in its drab but lucrative lustre. It is expected that traffic will flow from one to another with ease, especially through the Austrian whorehouse motif of Brothel <st1:State><st1:place>Ontario</st1:place></st1:State>.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New"></FONT> </P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">Said Flighty Dwighty, Ontario's Have-Not Minister of Finance (with cabinet responsibility and accountability for the ABCO), "It's not a casino. It's an entertainment destination with take-out. It will likely be unparalleled in the country. These palaces have some of the finest shopping, restaurants, convention facilities, park spaces, open spaces -- imagine an anchor that could create a golden mile on Toronto's waterfront and that's quite possible." (Globe Tuesday April 10/12, pA10).</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New"></FONT> </P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">Sources also say that it will be an all-in-one vice operation under close police control.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">On the one hand, the Ontario Government of a <st1:place><st1:PlaceName>Have-Not</st1:PlaceName> <st1:PlaceType>Province</st1:PlaceType></st1:place> will lose out on the $200 million appraisal of the Queens Quay property. But on the other hand, it won't cost more than one billion dollars to re-design and refurbish the existing buildings and warehouse for a combined alcohol-brothel-casino operation. </FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">Where else could you find three male pleasures under one roof (with take-out), especially when it rains? More on this story as it develops…</FONT></P></FONT></DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"> <DIV><BR>Chimo! <A href="http://www.deantudor.com">www.deantudor.com</A> AND <A href="http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com">http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com</A></FONT></DIV>Dean Tudorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09027150351344396656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568706985006439997.post-82538383414140769022012-03-31T21:14:00.001-07:002012-03-31T21:14:36.548-07:00April job offer at LCBO<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN"> <HTML xmlns:st1 = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" xmlns:o = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office"><HEAD> <META content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1" http-equiv=Content-Type> <META name=GENERATOR content="MSHTML 9.00.8112.16441"> <STYLE></STYLE> </HEAD> <BODY bgColor=#ffffff> <DIV> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">TODAY is <st1:date Year="2012" Day="1" Month="4">April 1, 2012</st1:date> also known as April Fool's Day, 2012. To me, it is the most sacred day of the year as it is the one day that I am TOTALLY serious
the rest of the year is a joke, fodder for FauxVoixVinCuisine.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">Accordingly, I'd like to announce that I'll soon be getting a new job: Toronto Marketing Manager at the LCBO. They were "looking for a smart, creative and likeable superstar to join our marketing team. As a Marketing Manager, you will lead the strategic and creative development of in-store promotions and multi-media advertising designed to promote LCBO products, generate increased store traffic and sales, and deliver an engaging customer experience."</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">They like me for my "Superb verbal and written communication skills to effectively manage staff, direct agencies, designers, photographers and copy writers, and to deliver briefings and presentations." As well as my "Strong creative eye and the ability to produce beautifully designed and compelling communication pieces."</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">But first, I need to "Develop strategic marketing plans based on research and analysis, consumer insights, and trends that deliver measurable sales results and customer engagement."</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">With my contacts Brett Grimsby and Miffed Mole, I can "Plan, create and implement highly engaging promotions that highlight LCBO as a world-class retailer of beverage alcohol products, a destination for entertaining inspiration and a friendly and approachable source for product knowledge." I can also "Plan, develop and execute in-store <st1:stockticker>POP</st1:stockticker>, merchandising, brochures, free-standing inserts, <st1:stockticker>ROP</st1:stockticker>, radio, out-of-home, TV, and digital communications."</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">Once I start this job, I'll honourably resign as Treasurer and Member of the Wine Writers' Circle of Canada (conflict-of-interest by-laws), but, of course, after I transfer the several hundred thousand dollars in the Treasurer's account over to my offshore interests
</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">So:<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>there will be plenty of gravy available for my fellow WWCC cohorts and colleagues. I'll be calling on you to help supply me with ideas and copy, for which I will pay and for which you will receive credit. I'm looking forward to it all. And you know what? There's probably an app for this job
I'm just sayin'
</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P></DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"> <DIV>Chimo! <A href="http://www.deantudor.com">www.deantudor.com</A> AND <A href="http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com">http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com</A></FONT></DIV></BODY></HTML> Dean Tudorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09027150351344396656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568706985006439997.post-19555343090410804042012-03-26T15:37:00.001-07:002012-03-26T15:37:03.638-07:00LCBO to raise prices 50% on high alcohol wines<DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – The Foxy Wine News Network, always enjoyed by 4,000 weeknight watchers, has just learned from our sources that The Grate McGinty's Minority Ontario Government, a Have-Not Government in Canada, will be seeking more money from the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">Top investigative wine reporter Brett Grimsby has been following this leaked story, and he files his report based on several interviews with Miffed Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may be imminent with tomorrow's budget, that specific timeline is not really known. Sources should not be held responsible for the speculative and/or playful treatment of their research and/or disclosures.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">According to a spokesperson from the LCBO, the Darth "Vader" Grabinsky report commissioned to assess ways and means of revenue generation at the LCBO actually included an idea on raising wine prices.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">Lax Oversight, the LCBO spokesperson who subsequently denied that his conversation was "on the record", said that the Ontario Budget will propose an immediate 50% increase in the base price of all wines sold in Ontario which exceed 12.5% Alcohol By Volume (<st1:stockticker>ABV</st1:stockticker>). Those fruit bombs are going to cost more money beginning Tuesday March 27, at 5PM. This is supposed to be part of the LCBO's "Return to Normalcy" campaign, in an effort to reduce the higher alcohol levels in wine and produce more revenue at the same time. </FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">Foxy Wine News Network will stay on top of this story and will report further as new developments emerge…</FONT></P></FONT></DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"> <DIV><BR>Chimo! <A href="http://www.deantudor.com">www.deantudor.com</A> AND <A href="http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com">http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com</A></FONT></DIV>Dean Tudorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09027150351344396656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568706985006439997.post-51352896188387900882012-03-18T09:57:00.001-07:002012-03-18T09:57:01.350-07:00Deal with Grabinsky and Ontario Government over Ontario Alcohol<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN"> <HTML xmlns:o = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" xmlns:st1 = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"><HEAD> <META content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1" http-equiv=Content-Type> <META name=GENERATOR content="MSHTML 9.00.8112.16441"> <STYLE></STYLE> </HEAD> <BODY bgColor=#ffffff> <DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">TRAWNA (GOSH Wine News Services) There's been a recent development in the perceived takeover of the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of A Have-Not Province Controlled by The Grate Minority McGinty.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">The Foxy Wine News Network has just learned that a deal has been negotiated with Darth Grabinsky, who is currently serving time for a range of wrong-doings. According to high-ranking officials, the Minority Have-Not Government of Ontario has bargained with the convicted Grabinsky, giving the former entrepreneur one week to take over the LCBO and to fix it in exchange for a major reduction to his sentence, in essence setting him free.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">Top investigative wine reporter Brett Grimsby has been following this story for days now, and he files his report based on several interviews with Miffed Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific timeline is not really known. Sources should not be held responsible for the speculative and/or playful treatment of their research and/or disclosures.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">After determining that the current flak about contrived wholesale prices could not be resolved by conventional means, Ontario wine agents confronted Grabinsky and proposed a mutually beneficial arrangement that will make him (in conjunction with the Ontario legal system) a free man if he can safely get in and get out and turn around the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of A Have-Not Province Controlled by The Grate Minority McGinty.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">Said Miffed Mole: "Basically, he's agreed to the mission. There's a strong chance that he'll go rogue once he realizes it is all but hopeless, so we've implanted a tracking device in his body. We're also prepared with backup. Mayor SchadenFord of <st1:City><st1:place>Toronto</st1:place></st1:City> has agreed to come in with us on this: he wants "subways not LRTs (Licensed Restrictions on Tipples)", so this is perfect timing. Since he is now in danger of being dismissed as Mayor, we have his utter co-operation for a potentially hefty buyout he won't go rogue, so we won't have to dig through his body to plant a device."</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">Byzantine expert Grabinsky is expected to sort his way through a maze of complex multiple-source spending, revenue-sharing, and tax credit advantages to juggle the substantial costs of the wholesale system.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">The Foxy Wine News Network, which, like every news organization, doesn't know anything about economics beyond arithmetic and paycheques, will be hiring outside consultants to advise its news presentations.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">More on this story as it unfolds tomorrow
</FONT></P></FONT></DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"> <DIV><BR>Chimo! <A href="http://www.deantudor.com">www.deantudor.com</A> AND <A href="http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com">http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com</A></DIV> <DIV></FONT> </DIV></BODY></HTML> Dean Tudorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09027150351344396656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568706985006439997.post-57354200839267896162012-02-23T18:53:00.001-08:002012-02-23T18:53:34.955-08:00GOSH: Foxy Wine News Network Clarifies Queens Quay LCBO Story<DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"></FONT><BR></DIV> <DIV> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">TRAWNA – (GOSH Wine News Services) – The Foxy Wine News Network, now watched intensely by over 4,000 viewers every week night, would like to issue a correction re-call notice.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">Foxy Wine News Network would like to re-call the story we put out on <st1:date Year="2012" Day="14" Month="1">January 14, 2012</st1:date>. It was a feature about "critter wines" and the imploding Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of A Have-Not Province Controlled by The Grate McGinty. The feature was about animal wine labels cluttering up the Queens Quay warehouse to such a level that pest control units (PCUs) had to deal with the SKUs and clear out the vermin. </FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">This was the item that formed the basis for the necessary sale of the land at <st1:place><st1:PlaceType>Lake</st1:PlaceType> <st1:PlaceType>Shore</st1:PlaceType></st1:place>, Freeland, and Queens Quay, supposedly worth a quarter of a billion dollars.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">Foxy Wine News Network wishes to apologize for not drawing your attention to the fact that there is no agreement on whether there is an apostrophe in <st1:place>Queens</st1:place>, or that Quay is pronounceable only if you are French.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">Additionally, Foxy Wine News Network mistakenly reported that the story was written in January 2012. We meant to write it in 2009. Foxy Wine News Network regrets the error.</FONT></P></DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"> <DIV><BR>Chimo! <A href="http://www.deantudor.com">www.deantudor.com</A> AND <A href="http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com">http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com</A></FONT></DIV>Dean Tudorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09027150351344396656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568706985006439997.post-66295016849752407932012-02-18T07:07:00.001-08:002012-02-18T07:07:27.625-08:00RE: HoseMaster of Wine<div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D'>Hi Dean,<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D'>We have sold our wine brands to Concha y Toro.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D'>Could you kindly unsubscribe me.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D'>Thanks, Brad<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";color:#1F497D'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div><div style='border:none;border-top:solid #B5C4DF 1.0pt;padding:3.0pt 0in 0in 0in'><p class=MsoNormal><b><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Tahoma","sans-serif"'>From:</span></b><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Tahoma","sans-serif"'> Dean Tudor, Wine Writer [mailto:dtudor@pathcom.com] <br><b>Sent:</b> Wednesday, February 01, 2012 5:36 PM<br><b>To:</b> blog4<br><b>Subject:</b> HoseMaster of Wine<o:p></o:p></span></p></div></div><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><div><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p></div><div><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Century Gothic","sans-serif"'>The Hosemaster is back!! The funniest wine blog on the Internet (after my own FauxVoixVinCuisine, of course)...Take a look..it is compelling!!</span><o:p></o:p></p></div><div><p class=MsoNormal> <o:p></o:p></p></div><p class=MsoNormal><a href="http://hosemasterofwine.blogspot.com/">http://hosemasterofwine.blogspot.com/</a> <o:p></o:p></p></div>Dean Tudorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09027150351344396656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568706985006439997.post-32646989977388184212012-02-05T14:26:00.001-08:002012-02-05T14:26:11.774-08:00Foxy Wine News Network apologizes for VQA stand-ins at ceremony last year<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN"> <HTML xmlns:o = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" xmlns:st1 = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"><HEAD> <META content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1" http-equiv=Content-Type> <META name=GENERATOR content="MSHTML 9.00.8112.16440"> <STYLE></STYLE> </HEAD> <BODY bgColor=#ffffff> <DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">TRAWNA (GOSH Wine News Services) The Foxy Wine News Network, admired and watched by over 4,000 viewers each week night, wishes to issue an unreserved and sincere apology.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">Last year, during the Ontario, A Have-Not Province, Sip and Savour activities, six of the VQA wines attending a "reaffirmation" ceremony for Ontario Wine Week in the Foxy Wine News Network studios turned out not to have been recently minted VQA wines after all. They were actually ICBMs, the International and Canadian Blended Moguls on sale at various private wine stores and even at the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of A Have-Not Province Controlled by The Grate McGinty. The bottles were told to smile and wave, and salute the flag as if they meant it.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">The director of the ceremony was told by the Grower and Wine Allianz of Ontario to produce it like a school play. It was meant to be a soft news story, as are most of the segments on the Foxy Wine News Network.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">The Foxy Wine News Network did not intend to deceive its viewers. It was only in good fun, and we wish to express our full insincerity over this matter. Starting tomorrow, the private wine stores have agreed to offer $2 off any ICBM wine that was on our television program. To get the toonie reduction, all you have to do is identify which label was on the show, and buy the bottle. We're not going to tell you; you must have watched and memorized the show. We have also taken down that particular segment from YouTube.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">According to custom, the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of A Have-Not Province Controlled by The Grate McGinty, will automatically raise the wholesale price a similar amount, to compensate for the manufacturers' losses.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">More on this apology after the <st1:stockticker>CBC</st1:stockticker> gets wind of it
</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P></FONT></DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"> <DIV>Chimo! <A href="http://www.deantudor.com">www.deantudor.com</A> AND <A href="http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com">http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com</A></FONT></DIV></BODY></HTML> Dean Tudorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09027150351344396656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568706985006439997.post-61212967426896400572012-02-01T14:36:00.001-08:002012-02-01T14:36:17.906-08:00HoseMaster of Wine<DIV><BR></DIV> <DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic">The Hosemaster is back!! The funniest wine blog on the Internet (after my own FauxVoixVinCuisine, of course)...Take a look..it is compelling!!</FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"></FONT> </DIV><A href="http://hosemasterofwine.blogspot.com/">http://hosemasterofwine.blogspot.com/</A> Dean Tudorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09027150351344396656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568706985006439997.post-30499902529420863152012-01-15T18:42:00.001-08:002012-01-15T18:42:13.260-08:00Infused Twinkies Come to Ontario<DIV> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">TRAWNA (GOSH Wine News Services) The Foxy Wine News Network has learned today that the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of A Have-Not Province Controlled by The Grate McGinty, is poised to make a serious announcement at a Press Conference tomorrow. </FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">Top investigative wine reporter Brett Grimsby has been following this serious story for days now, and he files his report based on several interviews with Miffed Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may or may not be imminent, possibly within the next day, that specific timeline is not really known. Sources should not be held responsible for the speculative and/or playful treatment of their research and/or disclosures.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2><FONT face="Courier New"><st1:City><st1:place>Grimsby</st1:place></st1:City> tells Fox that the Liberal Control of Beverages in <st1:State><st1:place>Ontario</st1:place></st1:State> has purchased the rights from Hostess, the now twice-bankrupt food company, to continue the manufacture of Twinkies. </FONT></FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2><FONT face="Courier New"><st1:City><st1:place>Grimsby</st1:place></st1:City> goes on: "Our sources tell us that this version of Twinkies will be wine-soaked and available as a <st1:stockticker>POS</st1:stockticker> purchase by the cash register. The LCBO, in collusion with the Wine Council and Drinks Ontario, has forged a relationship with several international and domestic wineries to custom craft a delicious blend of wines. There will be a red wine and a white wine version. The LCBO Lab is working on a sparkling version for ceremonial events such as birthdays and holidays. The domestic sherry version will be available to the usual rubbies."</FONT></FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">All of this will be announced sometime tomorrow after the Government of Ontario, A Have-Not Province, comes up with a pricing formula. At the presser, there will be a distribution of recipes -- and samples -- for tiramisu, apple charlotte, and trifle. These will later be found at the checkout cashier, minus the samples.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">And in line with Twinkies' history, the wine-soaked versions will have a permanent shelf life....</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P></DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"> <DIV>Chimo! <A href="http://www.deantudor.com">www.deantudor.com</A> AND <A href="http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com">http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com</A></DIV> <DIV></FONT> </DIV>Dean Tudorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09027150351344396656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568706985006439997.post-65090578749027289682012-01-08T13:00:00.001-08:002012-01-08T13:00:04.125-08:00Ontario's alcohol bottle deposit system expands to South East Asia?<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN"> <HTML xmlns:o = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" xmlns:st1 = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"><HEAD> <META content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1" http-equiv=Content-Type> <META name=GENERATOR content="MSHTML 9.00.8112.16440"> <STYLE></STYLE> </HEAD> <BODY bgColor=#ffffff> <DIV> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">TRAWNA (GOSH Wine News Services) The Foxy Wine News Network, watched by just under 4,000 people every weeknight, has just learned that forensic accountants have been busy poring over the "recycle" books.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">There have been loud rumours for some time that many of the bottles returned for their deposit fees have later gone missing. Apparently, the priority model for recycling is first to "reuse", and the rules have been diligently followed.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">Top investigative wine reporter Brett Grimsby has been following this story for days now, and he files his report based on several interviews with Miffed Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific timeline is not really known. Sources should not be held responsible for the speculative and/or playful treatment of their research and/or disclosures.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">The word on the street that has filtered to our reporters is that certain key empty bottles of wine, for example some French chateaux bottles or boutique cult California bottles, seem to have made their way over to South East Asia, principally to the emerging wine countries of Vietnam and Cambodia. </FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">Cartons have been seen loaded into containers for shipment to the West Coast and then sent further east by cargo freighters. The suspicion is that these bottles are being re-filled in Asia with native brew and then passed off as <st1:City><st1:place>Bordeaux</st1:place></st1:City> or <st1:City><st1:place>Napa</st1:place></st1:City> wines according to whatever the "recycled" label states. There have already been loud rumours that this is what had been happening with used Ontario VQA Icewine bottles.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">Said a government spokesperson, "All we know is that we got a reasonable request for specific types of recyclable bottles, for which we were being paid a premium. It was another source of revenue-generation for the Good People of Ontario. It was all laid out in the letter of agreement sent to us by a Mr. Cosmo Kramer. As of the end of the year, we were still honouring that letter, and we were still being paid. We'll get a windfall from the Christmas and New Year bottle returns.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">He went on, "At least they didn't ask for a reciprocal purchase and shelf listing for snake wine."</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">Meanwhile, Foxy Wine News Network is still awaiting the forensic report
</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P></DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"> <DIV>Chimo! <A href="http://www.deantudor.com">www.deantudor.com</A> AND <A href="http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com">http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com</A></FONT></DIV></BODY></HTML> Dean Tudorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09027150351344396656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568706985006439997.post-44728667148930370852011-12-27T12:14:00.001-08:002011-12-27T12:14:12.189-08:00GOSH/Foxy announces another successful year> TRAWNA - (GOSH Wine News Services) - The GOSH Wine News Services and Foxy<br>> Wine News Network completes yet another stunning and successful year in<br>> promoting the alcohol business in Ontario, in co-operation with the <br>> Liberal<br>> Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er Crown Corporation <br>> of<br>> A Have-Not Province Run by The Grate McGinty. Our shareholders are <br>> extremely<br>> happy.<br>><br>> What did we accomplish this year? In yet another stunning upset, GOSH <br>> Wine<br>> News Services had swept the Barcelona Biennale 2011 SPIFFY Awards for bold<br>> and beautiful false and fake news<br>><br>> Breaking stories appeared on the Foxy Wine News Network and the Canadian<br>> Wine Hacks and Flacks Association -- stories about the former<br>> CellaredInCanada wines, for example. Our spoofs and parodies for 2011<br>> totalled about 50, and have been acknowledged as some of the sharpest, <br>> most<br>> penetrating false news in recent history, although the issues on which the<br>> spoofs are based are real.<br>><br>> Top investigative journalism led to coverage of the LCBO now selling<br>> wine at their Ontario stores in Euros, Robert Parker changing his wine<br>> scoring system, exclusive sales of wine in Ontario via Twitter, the Master<br>> of Wine Writing designation and MWW courses, and the purchase of the LCBO <br>> by<br>> RIM.<br>><br>> More recently, GOSH and Foxy uncovered the Robert M. Parker Jr.<br>> Retirement and Farewell Tour, the LCBO being slammed by Black Friday <br>> sales,<br>> finding rogue vineyards in Niagara, the PIIGS Bake Sale and Fundraiser in<br>> Ontario, and announcing the signing of the provinvial auditor as a <br>> freelance<br>> writer for GOSH.<br>><br>> All stories may be found at the leading wine satire site on the planet<br>> <a href="http://fauxvoixvincuisine.blogspot.com">http://fauxvoixvincuisine.blogspot.com</a>.<br>><br>> Dean Tudor is President and CEO of Gothic Epicures Writing, an<br>> empire-building food and wine consultancy specializing in Restructuring <br>> and<br>> Dragons. His next Restructuring campaign is to re-brand the Cellared in<br>> Canada ICB wines as "Partially Parked in Canada".<br>><br>> PS: Don't forget the Christmas and Holiday shows at Foxy Wine News<br>> Network -- "Snag It, Bag It, and Tag It" (guide to cheap Christmas wines),<br>> "Mulled Wine Escapades", "LCBO Eggnog Special Competition", "Durham<br>> Warehouse Christmas Show" (live), and "Bubbles, Not-the-Charmat Express<br>> Hour".<br>><br>> Chimo! <a href="http://www.deantudor.com">www.deantudor.com</a> AND <a href="http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com">http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com</a><br>>Dean Tudorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09027150351344396656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568706985006439997.post-41976529354312460792011-12-11T10:31:00.001-08:002011-12-11T10:31:39.259-08:00New FauxVoixVinCuisine writer tells all about wholesale-retail wine pricing<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN"> <HTML xmlns:o = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" xmlns:st1 = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"><HEAD> <META content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1" http-equiv=Content-Type> <META name=GENERATOR content="MSHTML 9.00.8112.16437"> <STYLE></STYLE> </HEAD> <BODY bgColor=#ffffff> <DIV> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">TRAWNA (GOSH Wine News Services) The Foxy Wine News Network, enjoyed by over 4,000 viewers on a nightly basis, is proud to announce its latest wine writer: government auditor Jim MacCarter. Truth is stranger than fiction: You simply cannot write this kind of parody/spoof
</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">He files this story from Queens Park-- </FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">"Recently I tabled my annual report with the Ontario Legislature, which (with the consent of the Grate McGinty) runs the Have-Not Province of Ontario. One of my highlights was noting that the alcohol wholesale pricing structure meant that wine, spirits, and beer cost more than necessary and that the monopoly makes lower profits than it could.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">"In effect, I'm taking the Liberal Control of Beverages in <st1:State><st1:place>Ontario</st1:place></st1:State>, A Have-Not Province Controlled by The Grate McGinty, to task for purchasing policies and pricing structures that mean booze is too expensive yet revenues are not maximized.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">"A Wal-Mart would certainly go back to their supplier and say: 'Would you sell it to us cheaper?' We think a lot of suppliers would sell it to us cheaper, basically to get that shelf listing. The provincial monopoly is one of the biggest alcohol retailers in the world.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">"Nobody else has that buying clout. The purchasing differs from private-sector retailers, which try to find the lowest wholesale prices. Instead, the Board focuses on the retail price it wants to charge for a product. Suppliers then work backwards and, at the Board's request, will raise or lower the wholesale cost of the product to fit within the company's price structure."</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">Apparently, The Grate McGinty's Finance Minister agrees. The Treasurer added that the Board's pricing polices are "counter-intuitive."</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">Stay on board for this one, folks -- it's compelling
</FONT></P></DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"> <DIV><BR>Chimo! <A href="http://www.deantudor.com">www.deantudor.com</A> AND <A href="http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com">http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com</A></FONT></DIV></BODY></HTML> Dean Tudorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09027150351344396656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568706985006439997.post-24693263468663889252011-12-04T15:36:00.001-08:002011-12-04T15:36:51.886-08:00Foxy Wine News Network announces Christmas Holiday shows<DIV> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">TRAWNA (GOSH Wine News Services) The Foxy Wine News Network, watched by just over 4,000 viewers on a weeknight (fewer on the weekend), today announced its Christmas Holiday television line-up.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">On Monday, December 12, at 9 PM (after the kiddies have gone to bed) enjoy "Snag It, Bag It and Tag It" a guide to every cheap wine offered by the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of A Have-Not Province Controlled by The Grate McGinty. It's a two hour show, with about an hour for red wines and an hour for whites and roses. It is the same sort of deal as offered by the Board's "Brood & Think" magazine, that is, the entire shot is paid for by underachieving wine agents who must make ends meet in this age of The Scrooge. Repeats endlessly after every <st1:time Minute="0" Hour="0">midnight</st1:time> during the rest of December, until <st1:time Minute="0" Hour="12">noon</st1:time> the next day.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">On Tuesday, December 13, at <st1:time Minute="0" Hour="21">9 PM</st1:time>, enjoy "Mulled Wine Escapades", the adventures of a would-be Santa who decided to arrive EARLY on December 23 and cause havoc with the dispensing of toys and favours. He becomes the victim of accepting too much mulled wine and has chills and spills on his sleigh route, led by a really red-nosed Rudolph with clove-nutmeg-cinnamon breath. Again, not one for the kiddies. Repeats every Tuesday until Christmas.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">On Wednesday, December 14, again at <st1:time Minute="0" Hour="21">9 PM</st1:time>, watch the "LCBO EggNog Special" store managers decide to compete against each other in the creation of their own locally flavoured eggnog concoctions. Watch out for the Greek neighbourhood versions. Recipes furnished upon request, provided suitable ID and passport photo is submitted. Repeats every Wednesday. This show will be broadcast LIVE: you must be of drinking age in order to enter the studio.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">On Thursday, December 15, at <st1:time Minute="0" Hour="20">8 PM</st1:time> (note: one hour earlier than the other shows) "The Durham Warehouse at Christmas". Watch how fork lift operators compete with each other in the stacking of thousands of cases of wines, beers, and spirits. This is one the kids will enjoy since it is always fun to see cartons get smashed in attempts to stack SKUs. Repeats every night at <st1:time Minute="0" Hour="20">8 PM</st1:time> until they get it right.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">On Friday, December 16, at <st1:time Minute="0" Hour="21">9 PM</st1:time>, we'll have "The Consignment Warehouse Christmas Show" where the wine agents go virtual and decide to sell their wines in time for Christmas. Competition is fierce, but will the ladies' teams win again this year as they strive for a Three-Peat? Find out, but after the kids go to bed. Again, this reality show will be LIVE, but repeated endlessly on Foxy Wine News Network.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">Then, on Saturday, December 17, at <st1:time Minute="0" Hour="23">11 PM</st1:time>, in the beginning of the run up to Christmas and New Year's, Foxy Wine News Network will have "Bubbles", a reality show which will be selling <st1:State><st1:place>Champagnes</st1:place></st1:State> with sex appeal. Details are being kept under wraps, but will be revealed as we draw closer to the time of the show. All we can say is this is where Bubbles meets Brandy, and the fur will be flying. Repeats on Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve at <st1:time Minute="0" Hour="23">11 PM</st1:time>, and then it fizzles out.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">On Sunday, December 18, at <st1:time Minute="0" Hour="12">noon</st1:time> equal time will be given on the "Charmat Express Hour" to those loser non-Champagne sparkling wines.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">Foxy hopes you enjoy all these shows. Keep informed.</FONT></P></DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"> <DIV><BR>Chimo! <A href="http://www.deantudor.com">www.deantudor.com</A> AND <A href="http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com">http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com</A></FONT></DIV>Dean Tudorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09027150351344396656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568706985006439997.post-16271940006484105762011-11-21T17:25:00.001-08:002011-11-21T17:25:14.485-08:00Rogue Vineyards found in Niagara<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN"> <HTML xmlns:o = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" xmlns:st1 = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"><HEAD> <META content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1" http-equiv=Content-Type> <META name=GENERATOR content="MSHTML 9.00.8112.16437"> <STYLE></STYLE> </HEAD> <BODY bgColor=#ffffff> <DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">TRAWNA (GOSH Wine News Services) The Foxy Wine News Network, proud home to over 4,000 viewers each working weeknight (more on unemployed weeknights), has learned that the Niagara Peninsula is using Google Earth to find rogue grape vineyards that don't have the proper permits.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">Many of these vineyards are hidden away under the shelter of orchards. The town of <st1:City><st1:place>Beamsville</st1:place></st1:City>, for example, has used the satellite image service to find about 200 vineyards whose owners never filled out the required paperwork.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">Such vineyards are extremely valuable; indeed, more valuable than the orchard canopies that they lurk under. </FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">Violators were told to get the proper permits. So far about $65,000 in fees and penalties have been collected.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">Agricultural inspectors said such vineyards were a taxing concern. Without the required inspections there was no way to know whether the vineyards were up to clonal standards. </FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">"Consumers must be protected from scam grape varieties" said one inspector. "A Chardonnay musque must be a Chardonnay grape, not a <st1:City><st1:place>Muscat</st1:place></st1:City>. With hidden vineyards, any clonal selection can be suspect."</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">But some privacy advocates, such as those at Foxy Wine News Network and the GOSH Wine News Services, say the use of Google Earth to find scofflaw vineyards reeks of Big Brother and the Liberal Control of Beverages in <st1:State><st1:place>Ontario</st1:place></st1:State>, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of A Have-Not Province Controlled by The Grate McGinty.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Courier New">More on these rogue vineyards as the situation develops
</FONT></P></FONT></DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"> <DIV><BR>Chimo! <A href="http://www.deantudor.com">www.deantudor.com</A> AND <A href="http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com">http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com</A></DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV></FONT> </DIV></BODY></HTML> Dean Tudorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09027150351344396656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568706985006439997.post-36667568531323102022011-11-06T09:06:00.001-08:002011-11-06T09:06:13.118-08:00PIIGS Fundraiser in Ontario<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN"> <HTML xmlns:o = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" xmlns:st1 = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"><HEAD> <META content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1" http-equiv=Content-Type> <META name=GENERATOR content="MSHTML 9.00.8112.16437"> <STYLE></STYLE> </HEAD> <BODY bgColor=#ffffff> <DIV> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal>TRAWNA (GOSH Wine News Services) The Foxy Wine News Network, adored by over 4,000 watchers nightly in prime time, today learned that the WGAO, WCO, VQA, and the Canadian Wine Hacks and Flacks Association have come together to hold a fundraiser for the PIIGS countries in their time of need. </P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal>Top investigative wine reporter Brett Grimsby has been following this story for days now, and he files his report based on several interviews with Miffed Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific timeline is not really known. Sources should not be held responsible for the speculative and/or playful treatment of their research and/or disclosures.</P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal>Essentially, the fundraiser (which has still to be approved by the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of a Have-Not Province Under the Thumb of The Grate McGinty) is in support of the poorer wineries and winemakers in those EU countries who are suffering within the Eurozone. </P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal>And the WGAO-WCO-VQA-CWHAFA consortium are also part of the enormous pressure being brought to bear on the LCBO to pay the PIIGS countries in a timely fashion for the wines that were imported to <st1:State><st1:place>Ontario</st1:place></st1:State>. </P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal>Details on the fundraiser are few, but it is believed to incorporate a baked goods sale, a silent auction of rare wines from non-PIIGS countries, a tent with a BBQ and 40 chefs promoting their tapas, and wines poured by Fruit Wineries of Ontario.</P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal>In view of the upcoming "European Autumn", a riff on the Arab Spring, the fundraiser needs to be done sooner rather than later, but organizers fear that government red tape may slow down the event. </P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal>Expediency is the order of the day, for any delay brings the PIIGS wineries closer to fiscal disasters, with the resultant drop in prices that can only injure local wine sales in <st1:State><st1:place>Ontario</st1:place></st1:State> (A Have-Not Province).</P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal>More on this impending disaster as it happens
</P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></P></DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"> <DIV>Chimo! <A href="http://www.deantudor.com">www.deantudor.com</A> AND <A href="http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com">http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com</A></FONT></DIV></BODY></HTML> Dean Tudorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09027150351344396656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568706985006439997.post-46116930421351907182011-10-30T07:59:00.001-07:002011-10-30T07:59:18.077-07:00Validation of LCBO key to a successful future?<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN"> <HTML xmlns:o = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" xmlns:st1 = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"><HEAD> <META content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1" http-equiv=Content-Type> <META name=GENERATOR content="MSHTML 9.00.8112.16437"> <STYLE></STYLE> </HEAD> <BODY bgColor=#ffffff> <DIV><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">TRAWNA (GOSH Wine News Services) Foxy Wine News Network, in conjunction with GOSH Wine News Services, has just learned that the LCBO, also known as the Liberal Control of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of A Have-Not Province Controlled by The Grate McGinty, is treating the recent re-election of Grate McGinty as the validation of its existence.</FONT></DIV> <DIV> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">Sources close to the LCBO and to McGinty have been saying that the Corporation (formerly known as "the Board") is now going to start taking a stronger presence and employ press muscle in its search for more money to "give" to the province.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">One of the first things it will do is lean on those wine critics who diss the Corporation's selection of wines and rate its wine inventories below 88. The Canadian Wine Hacks and Flacks Association is shocked and appalled at this turn of events.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">Said our source: "Every one of our wines is a winner. If it were not so, I would have told you. We have many rooms in our selling areas where we prepare fine wines for the masses. Why bother to speculate with a silly point system?"</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">The Corporation would continue to acknowledge single bottle faults and the like in wines, but in general, they are prepared to stonewall those critics who give low marks to the wines sold at the LCBO.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">"They're taking money out of our pockets! Every low-rated review is a loss of sales and a loss of income to the coffers of this <st1:place><st1:PlaceName>Great</st1:PlaceName> <st1:PlaceType>Province</st1:PlaceType></st1:place>. The critics need to get on board during this time of economic recovery," said the Corporation.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">The source continued, "We have ways to make them come around. We've also got some other ideas to discourage awarding low numbers. Just watch us."</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">More on this unhappy event and squashing of press privilege as it happens
</FONT></P></DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"> <DIV><BR>Chimo! <A href="http://www.deantudor.com">www.deantudor.com</A> AND <A href="http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com">http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com</A></FONT></DIV></BODY></HTML> Dean Tudorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09027150351344396656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568706985006439997.post-59567452537900145752011-10-10T17:36:00.001-07:002011-10-10T17:36:53.338-07:00Fw: BREAKING NEWS FLASH: The Onion to "align" with Foxy Wine News Network<DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic">NEWSFLASH -- BREAKING NEWS as it happens !!!!!</FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic">TRAWNA -- (GOSH Wine News Services) -- The Foxy Wine News Network(TM), enjoyed on television by over 4,000 Canadians every night, has joined forces with the Canadian version of The Onion newspaper.</FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic">Originally, The Onion had filed a "cease-and-desist" letter with Foxy Wine News Network(TM), believing that The Onion had prior exclusive rights to satire and sarcasm in Canada. They refused to believe in the existence of the Foxy Wine News Network(TM).</FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic">But that was before due diligence showed that Foxy Wine News Network(TM) is a viable subsidiary of GOSH Wine New Services. Both legal teams have spent some time in coming up with a solution. It turns out that The Onion is interested in some of the assets of the Foxy Wine News Network(TM).</FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic">So: instead of suing Foxy Wine News Network(TM) for $1,000,000, The Onion has bought into the Foxy Wine News Network(TM), taking a minority interest with a silent partner position for that same amount of money.</FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic">From November 1 on, the Foxy Wine News Network(TM) will report on all Canadian vinous happenings for The Onion, and The Onion will share in the profits made from 4,000 sets of television eyeballs.</FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic">In the future, there will be other forms of partnerships such as buying wineries, importing wines, selling wine accessories, and other commercial applications. </FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic">Foxy Wine News Network(TM), a subsidiary of GOSH Wine News Services, will be reporting on all of these as they happen....</FONT></DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"> <DIV><BR>Chimo! <A href="http://www.deantudor.com">www.deantudor.com</A> AND <A href="http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com">http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com</A></DIV></FONT>Dean Tudorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09027150351344396656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568706985006439997.post-71935755507844949792011-10-01T08:58:00.001-07:002011-10-01T08:58:19.552-07:00LCBO to deconstruct under Whodat<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN"> <HTML xmlns:o = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" xmlns:st1 = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"><HEAD> <META content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1" http-equiv=Content-Type> <META name=GENERATOR content="MSHTML 9.00.8112.16434"> <STYLE></STYLE> </HEAD> <BODY bgColor=#ffffff> <DIV> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="mso-fareast-language: EN-CA"><FONT size=2><FONT face="Courier New">TRAWNA (GOSH Wine News Services) -- The Foxy Wine News Network has just learned that Tom Whodat, the leader of the Official Opposition in Ontario, A Have-Not Province, will seek to deconstruct the LCBO after he wins the election, by renaming it the "Limitless Conservation of Beverages in Ontario, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of A Have-Not Province Controlled by Whodat".<o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></SPAN></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="mso-fareast-language: EN-CA"><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></SPAN></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">Top investigative wine reporter Brett Grimsby has been following this story for days now, and he files this report based on several interviews with Miffed Mole, the collective name for our sources who are familiar with the situation, and who spoke to him on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to divulge details while they were very close to the centre of discussions and while the matter under consideration had not yet been finalized nor announced to the public. While the decisions may or may not have been finalized internally, and while an announcement on the matter may or may not be imminent, possibly within the next week or two, that specific timeline is not really known. Sources should not be held responsible for the speculative and/or playful treatment of their research and/or disclosures.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="mso-fareast-language: EN-CA"><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></SPAN></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2><FONT face="Courier New"><SPAN style="mso-fareast-language: EN-CA">Policy advisors have suggested that international wine purchases will be de-emphasized while </SPAN><st1:State><st1:place><SPAN style="mso-fareast-language: EN-CA">Ontario</SPAN></st1:place></st1:State><SPAN style="mso-fareast-language: EN-CA"> wines will greatly expand within the rubber walls of the new LCBO, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of a Have-Not Province Controlled by Whodat.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="mso-fareast-language: EN-CA"><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></SPAN></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2><FONT face="Courier New"><SPAN style="mso-fareast-language: EN-CA">But </SPAN><st1:State><st1:place><SPAN style="mso-fareast-language: EN-CA">Ontario</SPAN></st1:place></st1:State><SPAN style="mso-fareast-language: EN-CA"> producers have already suggested that they may not have enough grape product for sale, and that the Ontario Government may have to dip into its copious stocks of fruit wines, which, until this moment, seem to have been neglected.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="mso-fareast-language: EN-CA"><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></SPAN></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2><FONT face="Courier New"><SPAN style="mso-fareast-language: EN-CA">Other advisors have suggested that a good Scotch and soda is just the ticket for </SPAN><st1:State><st1:place><SPAN style="mso-fareast-language: EN-CA">Ontario</SPAN></st1:place></st1:State><SPAN style="mso-fareast-language: EN-CA"> voters, and have put their money on brown spirits rather than wines.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="mso-fareast-language: EN-CA"><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></SPAN></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2><FONT face="Courier New"><SPAN style="mso-fareast-language: EN-CA">More on this story as it develops
</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic">Chimo! <A href="http://www.deantudor.com">www.deantudor.com</A> AND <A href="http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com">http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com</A></FONT></P></DIV></BODY></HTML> Dean Tudorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09027150351344396656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568706985006439997.post-38883581805307429802011-09-24T10:23:00.001-07:002011-09-24T10:23:29.238-07:00Foxy Wine News Network shut out at recent Emmys & Geminis<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN"> <HTML xmlns:o = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office"><HEAD> <META content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1" http-equiv=Content-Type> <META name=GENERATOR content="MSHTML 9.00.8112.16434"> <STYLE></STYLE> </HEAD> <BODY bgColor=#ffffff> <DIV> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">TRAWNA (GOSH Wine News Services) The Foxy Wine News Network is bitterly disappointed that it did not win any Emmy or Gemini Awards this season. </FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">When reminded that the Network is relatively new with no product before the closing date, the CEO said: "That shouldn't matter. We put our hearts and souls into our work. We worked really hard and we deserved the Awards based on the work that we did. After all, don't school kids get marks for just working hard, no matter whether they are right or wrong?"</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">He went on, "We broke many stories
on the new red-light district in Toronto for drinking, the fact that Canadian blended wines were going to drop terroir, the WikiLeaks booze material release, the fabrication of the VQA system in 1992, and the concept of SomewhereElse wines."</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">"Plus, of course, the development of the LCBO buying and selling wines only in Euros. What more could the Emmy Academy of Television Arts want?"</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">When reminded that programs must be NOMINATED first before they can get an Award, the CEO said, "Oh, right. Maybe next year."</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P></DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"> <DIV>Chimo! <A href="http://www.deantudor.com">www.deantudor.com</A> AND <A href="http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com">http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com</A></FONT></DIV></BODY></HTML> Dean Tudorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09027150351344396656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568706985006439997.post-27303633630947290392011-08-17T20:45:00.000-07:002011-08-17T20:44:40.471-07:00Master of Wine Writing Course syllabus announced<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN"> <HTML xmlns:o = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office"><HEAD> <META content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1" http-equiv=Content-Type> <META name=GENERATOR content="MSHTML 9.00.8112.16434"> <STYLE></STYLE> </HEAD> <BODY bgColor=#ffffff> <DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"></FONT><BR></DIV> <DIV> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">TRAWNA (GOSH Wine News Services) The Canadian Wine Hacks and Flacks Association has just announced the course content for its entry level Master of Wine Writing course, MWW I: So You Want to Be<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>a Wine Writer
.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">MWW I topics will include:</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> how to get a kit bag with the name of a vinous conference;</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">- how to write a short paragraph extolling the virtues of a wine;</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">- how to ask for a golf shirt and/or jacket from a winery;</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">- how to make things up and/or get the facts wrong; </FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">- how to ask for a Familiarization (FAM) Tour Trip;</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">- how to get out of a commitment to write up a media function or trip;</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">- how to come to grips with the basic but boring elements of grammar;</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">- how to score pens, paperclips, and notepads;</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">- how to pretend ignorance;</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">- how to diss and respect the LCBO in the same sentence;</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">- how to get free wine glasses for life;</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">- hoe to make yourself indispensable;</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">- how to trade a badly-sized media Tee-Shirt for one that fits;</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">- how to ask questions at wine functions;</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">- how to get a free lunch everyday;</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">- how to recognize a wine pariah;</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">- how to move up in the pecking order (does not apply to the A Team);</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">- how to get a travel bag emblazoned with the name of a wine region;</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">- how to bring dates to wine functions and wine trade dinners; </FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">- how to use a camera for "pretend" pictures;</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">- how to beg for wine samples and alternate bottles;</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">- how to get away with using cologne at wine functions;</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">The introductory course, being entry level, is usually taught by guest lecturers, with selected readings and a final examination.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P></DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"> <DIV><BR>Chimo! <A href="http://www.deantudor.com">www.deantudor.com</A> AND <A href="http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com">http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com</A></DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV></FONT> </DIV></BODY></HTML> Dean Tudorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09027150351344396656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568706985006439997.post-72367532680000561962011-07-31T17:03:00.001-07:002011-07-31T17:03:14.564-07:00Can Wine Hacks and Flacks Association to offer MWW designation<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN"> <HTML xmlns:o = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" xmlns:st1 = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"><HEAD> <META content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1" http-equiv=Content-Type> <META name=GENERATOR content="MSHTML 9.00.8112.16430"> <STYLE></STYLE> </HEAD> <BODY bgColor=#ffffff> <DIV> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">TRAWNA (GOSH Wine News Services) The Foxy Wine News Network, enjoyed by up to 5,000 viewers every night, is pleased to offer, in conjunction with the Canadian Wine Hacks and Flacks Association, the beginning of a new online-television education relationship. </FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">Beginning in Fall 2011, CWHFA (pronounced Kwee-Fah) will be offering through Foxy Wine News Network some new Master of Wine Writing courses leading to the M.W.W. degree (Master of Wine Writing). Kwee-Fah's Registrar said that these courses would not be similar to, nor lead to a Master of Wine or a Master Sommelier designation. </FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">"Indeed", he said, "the MWW will be sitting over the MW and the MS. For one thing, it is one letter longer. For another, the MWW is concerned with writing about the same material that the MW and MS comprises, so the MWW has a more integrative construction of base materials. </FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2><FONT face="Courier New">"The MWW is a communication degree posited above the MW and the MS in interpretation. We will expound and expand on MW/MS materials and we will explain and demystify wine terms and concepts. The MWW will be able to fashion a credible, readable account of wines and wine tasting without resorting to a "sweaty saddles" or "kerosene" or "petrol" type of terminology. We'll lose such phrases as "Heavy-weight almost focused dessert wine. Whispers of cedar, structured blueberry and scant plum. Drink now through 2012."<o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">"We'll also be looking into the type of hard-hitting investigative journalism-type stories that GOSH seems to find every day of the week why aren't the big boy wine writers picking up these stories? Because there are actually TOO many stories..."</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">"We hope to have some of these investigative experiences fashioned in writing and on television before the October 6 election, so we can see what the Liberal Control of Beverages in <st1:State><st1:place>Ontario</st1:place></st1:State>, A Clown, er, Clone, er, Crown Corporation of A Have-Not Province Controlled by The Grate McGinty is really up to."</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">The Registrar of Kwee-Fah said: "We'll address this investigative issue when the time comes: it'll make a good textbook case for our students to write-up. Just watch us. We'll be everywhere."</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">Syllabi will go online September 1, while registration opens August 1 at the Foxy Wine News Network's website. More details will be posted later
</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic">Chimo! <A href="http://www.deantudor.com">www.deantudor.com</A> AND <A href="http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com">http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com</A></FONT></P></DIV></BODY></HTML> Dean Tudorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09027150351344396656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568706985006439997.post-42545178452653274832011-07-17T14:03:00.001-07:002011-07-17T14:03:04.597-07:00Fw: Apology from Foxy Wine News Network re: stretch water<DIV> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">TRAWNA (GOSH Wine New Services) The Foxy Wine News Network, now enjoyed by over 5,000 nightly viewers, wishes to issue the following apology which was broadcasted in prime time:</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">"For the past two years, Dean Tudor, ace investigative reporter for GOSH Wine News Services and Foxy Wine News Network, had commented that the stretch water component of International and Canadian Blended wines was not a joke, that it was for real. We've read lots of your emails about your laughter, folks, but we've re-iterated over and over again that STRETCH WATER IS NOT A JOKE, THAT IT IS FOR <st1:stockticker>REAL</st1:stockticker>, and the Canadian public is paying big bucks in taxes on simple tap water.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">"Tudor has said it, over and over: STRETCH WATER IS REALITY, it is not a joke.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">"Well, guess what, folks, IT ACTUALLY IS A JOKE -- that's right, Stretch Water (no relation to Stretch Cunningham) is a one-trick pony joke that has been perpetrated on the Canadian public.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">"Dean Tudor wishes to apologize for insisting that stretch water is real. He defers to the judgment of the email writers and hacked voicemail messages, and he apologizes for his mistake. To not do so would be irresponsible. If he were to continue to make such mistakes and misstatements, and not correct them, especially if each and every one of those statements happened to go in one very particular direction on the political spectrum, that would undermine the very integrity and credibility that he works so hard to pretend to care about."</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">"Dean Tudor also apologizes for directly stealing this apology from another satirist. It was not intended to be a factual statement."</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P></DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"> <DIV><BR>Chimo! <A href="http://www.deantudor.com">www.deantudor.com</A> AND <A href="http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com">http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com</A></FONT></DIV>Dean Tudorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09027150351344396656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3568706985006439997.post-69280382732479667282011-06-26T19:12:00.000-07:002011-06-26T19:11:57.759-07:00Foxy Wine News Network joins with "Thiis Is That"<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN"> <HTML xmlns:st1 = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" xmlns:o = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office"><HEAD> <META content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1" http-equiv=Content-Type> <META name=GENERATOR content="MSHTML 9.00.8112.16430"> <STYLE></STYLE> </HEAD> <BODY bgColor=#ffffff> <DIV> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">TRAWNA (GOSH Wine News Services) The Foxy Wine News Network, enjoyed by over 4,000 nightly viewers, is now pleased to announce a mutual P2P partnership with the <st1:stockticker>CBC</st1:stockticker> Radio show, "This Is That".</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">Effective July 1, immediately after "This Is That" returns for a second season, Foxy Wine News Network will be responsible for supplying wine spoofs and parodies to the radio show. </FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">This cross-association between "This Is That" and the Foxy Wine News Network should in no way impinge on the veracity and non-commercial nature of the public broadcaster, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">On the other hand, Foxy Wine News Network's status will be increased immeasurably.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face="Courier New">More on this story as the situation evolves
</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt" class=MsoNormal><o:p><FONT size=2 face="Courier New"> </FONT></o:p></P></DIV><FONT size=2 face="Century Gothic"> <DIV><BR>Chimo! <A href="http://www.deantudor.com">www.deantudor.com</A> AND <A href="http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com">http://gothicepicures.blogspot.com</A></DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV></FONT> </DIV></BODY></HTML> Dean Tudorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09027150351344396656noreply@blogger.com0